After having enjoyed lunch today, I got a call from my girlfriend H telling me about some stupid reaction of some guy who just found out she’s gay. He has been flirting with her, of course. Making inappropriate comments and always pointing out to her how pretty she is. Finally, H just set it out straight that she’s not into men.
He was utterly befuddled and the first thing he asked was… How do you do it?! Yep! He went there straight. I get how it can be really surprising for some people, especially men if the lesbian lady doesn’t cross-dress as a man. Especially from where I grew up, in the Philippines, where what is now coined as a femme (a lesbian lady who dresses like a woman and is attracted to lesbians who dresses as a woman too) is literally “alien”.
So here are the absurdest questions I’ve encountered about my sexual preference since I came out 7 years ago.
How Do You Do It?
Unfortunately, when talking about sexual preferences, people always start with sex. Curious and hungry for information, men would typically jump on to Lesbian Porn imagery and imagines a threesome happening with them still included in the picture. “How do you do it?” Really?! That is private! Inasmuch as any regular hetero-couples would avoid telling on their sexual lives to people they just met or not even close to. Just because it’s unnatural to you, doesn’t mean you get to be rude and ask how others have sex.
I Don’t Get It. You Don’t Have The Tool For Sex. Is It Even Real Sex?
Err. Trust me, some lipstick lesbian (myself included) do not need your d*cks guys. And besides, do you think we live under a rock? There are pretty cool and more amazing tools than those.
And sex with a woman is definitely real sex. It even feels more real than sex with a man who can’t even make their woman orgasm. Tuh!
So, You Don’t Like Kids Eh?
What are you talking about? Of course we’d like kids! We want kids! And not just for vanity or for the sake of doing what I need to do on Earth, which is to pro-create. Personally, I’d want to have children, take note children. Again, we do not need a man to have them. We’re both women equally capable of bearing children and technology will help us procreate. So that’s twice the chances of having more kids. ‘No kids…’ think before you speak!
But… Which One Of You Is The Man?
No one. That’s the point. We are ladies who enjoy our femininity but are only attracted to women who also enjoys their femininity. We like to do each other’s hair, nails, and we talk a lot. It’s like being with your best friend, but only in a romantic sort of way. So neither of us is the man, nor do either one of us wants to be the man.
How Sure Are You About Liking Only Girls Though?
Well, apart from the obvious that I’m with one right now and I love her so much. Yep, I’m pretty certain.
Whoever Hurt You That Made You Decide To Be Gay?
No one hurt me. I didn’t turn gay coz I was heartbroken. I just am! I never really developed real intimate feelings with men. I only really develop intimacy with women. I am both sexually and emotionally attracted to women.
Have You Even Been With A Man Before?
To be completely upfront, and I speak in behalf of my fiancee too, we both have been with men. It was dull and uneventful and there was no spark! It was during a phase where society’s dictate to act ‘accordingly’ was so imbibed into our decision-making at a very early age in life. Where every girl was expected to only be with men. We had to try and fit in, but it didn’t matter because our attempt of ‘conversion’ had been futile. In the end, we were never happy because it’s not what we want primarily because we weren’t being true to ourselves. So it’s not a question about being with a man or not before, it’s always a case of belonging to a person with whom you can be yourself with and at home to.
Do You Not Find Your Sexual Preference To Be Sinful? Against God? This Does Not Please God.
We may have different Gods because the God I know will never forsake His children who has faith in Him just because we choose to love differently. The God we serve is the one who accepts and encourages us to love and love deeply regardless of who or what it may be. The God we recognize is the God that appreciates kindness and faithfulness more than those contemptuous bigots who took it upon themselves to judge others because they think they know better.
We like to educate people, teach them the different faces of the LGBTQ++ community inasmuch as we like to be educated. It is quite a sensitive topic though, we want to be able to impart to others what we know and be open enough to accept what others may not understand. But if you don’t mind, please also be cautious on your responses. Our patience do run thin as well.